I don’t understand this. The only two people who can create value or decrease the value of our relationship are the two of us.
The only person, outside of our relationship, who can truly impact the status and success of our relationship and commitment, would be someone who was seeking to disrupt our relationship by coming between us in some way. Perhaps a family member might take issue with our relationship for some reason. That could lead to difficult choices. That could have an impact. A person trying to get one of us to break our vow of fidelity could have consequences for us as well. Someone committing to another person not only does not affect my marriage, but it should strengthen the institution of marriage all around.
More people in committed, loving relationships makes the world a better place. It creates social stability. It creates more financial stability. It creates more money spent on weddings. Will it be perfect? No. Will every same sex marriage end up being happily ever after? No. But it will give those couples a better chance.
There is another hypocrisy here. One of the “complaints” made about the “homosexual lifestyle” is promiscuity. But when there is no road to legally recognized, committed relationships there is little incentive to seek that out. Marriage equality will not take away all of the casual sex in the gay world, but it will give that community an alternative. Just as in the straight world, not everyone will want to get married. Just as in the straight world many people will still cheat or divorce. But when a group is not fully enfranchised to participate in legal, committed relationships it is ridiculous to blame them for not taking the emotional and financial risk in the face of public shame and ridicule.
Now it must be said that I am in the 15% who have married outside of my skin tone. And nearly 50 years ago many of the arguments that have been used against same sex marriage today were being used about interracial marriage then.
Fifty year ago common wisdom in much of the United States said that if people from different races or cultures or ethnic groups married each other then white people would stop getting married to each other. That somehow same race marriage would be devalued. I don’t see the logic in the idea that if people who have different skin colors married it would ruin marriage for white people. Perhaps it means white people really don’t like each other very much, and the only reason they married one another was that interracial marriage was not legal. Or the common wisdom was just racism hiding behind tradition.
The legalization of interracial marriage has not dissuaded couples who are homogenous (or from the same ethnic/ cultural/ racial) heritage from tying the knot. Look in any newspaper with wedding announcements or look at your friends’ facebook pages. There are literally thousands of people from the same ethnicity getting married. I have been to six weddings in the last four years. All white people getting married to other white people. My marriage didn’t stop them from getting married. It didn’t even stop them from inviting me to their weddings.
This same idea comes up with same sex marriage: now it is legal to marry someone of the same sex no one will ever marry someone of the opposite sex again. Since roughly 90 percent of the population sees themselves as heterosexual this seems a tad unlikely. But if the law was the only thing that kept us from same sex relationships then maybe we are not all so straight after all.